Woah slow your roll with that title. Inconvenience is not a word you want associated with the LOL (Luv ofya life)
And that’s my point.
Because sometimes this world gets the upper hand over better judgement and that’s how you feel. Inconvenienced.
You know what 2 words can be associated with inconvenient? “Self” and “change”
Basically: something changes and isn’t going YOUR way so you don’t like it because you’re thinking only of yourself.
My husband recently made a pretty hefty life change. Something that switched up the routine we’ve been in every day for the last 3 years. Something he’s needed to do mentally and physically for his happiness, which has been pushed to the back burner. Actually, completely off the stove if I’m being honest. Because big changes are scary but bills and responsibility are scarier.
Nonetheless, when he told me he finally took the plunge I was instantly irritable. Not mad, but slightly pissy. How could he inconvenience Us like this in December, right before Christmas?! How could he just mess up my
whole flow? I’m going to have to redo everything that I’m used to doing. Ugh!
And there’s my sign. I was inconvenienced.
But I never took into account how my husband must feel, how stressed he must be, how he’s handling the weight of being responsible for our family’s well being.
I never talked to him about how he was feeling about any of it. Instead, I just gave him a list of “musts” to follow that would put some convenience back in my day.
And now, I feel like I missed an opportunity to be there for my husband and support him as he’s done for me countless times. All my wildness and dreams and career changes and goals have never once inconvienced him. He’s either helped me make and execute a plan, or helped me off the ledge.
I think the silent killer of most marriages today is, I. Especially for us “youngins”.
Being married at 22 really wasn’t something I would’ve ever imagined for myself. But God gave me a husband at that time for a reason. He knew I needed my husband or else I’d probably still be 90 to nothing. Never taking time to soak in this sweet life I’ve been given. He also knew it would due me some good to think of someone other than myself for once in my life.
I see you, God.
Navigating marriage is a whole lot of “us” and a whole lot less of “me”. You are not only thinking of someone else but also putting them before yourself, and making their happiness and dreams and goals one with your own. Neither being more important than the other, but equal. They shouldnt be considered an inconvenience to your life, they should be an enhancement to your life.
I encourage you to take time out of your day to think about your spouse and evaluate your own behavior.
Am I contributing to or disrupting their peace?
Are they happy?
Am I inviting them to communicate with me or am I jumping to conclusions and shutting them down?
Am I walking with them through life or am I just dragging them down the path I like best?
Make adjustments when necessary. Marriage isn’t at its best when you’re each giving 100, it’s best when you show up on the days they need you to give them your 80 when they only have 20.
PS: it will 110% ALWAYS be an inconvenience when my husband puts his plate right beside the counter instead of in it, but hey. We’ll work on it.