Giving Advice to First Time Moms: the right and wrong way
Our words hold so much power.
The tone we speak in is equally as powerful as the words themselves.
Positive or negative.
And how we speak about a subject greatly impacts how we feel, our own and others’ success, and overall outcomes.
For example: If you’re going to a job interview and continuously
talk whine about how you’re under qualified for the position and how you bombed your interview, you likely won’t be getting that call back. But if you focus on the qualifications you do meet, and that part in the interview where you made your potential new boss laugh out loud at one of your witty jokes, well that attitude might just get you the golden ticket aka pay raise. Thank u, next.
I wanted to kick my 2019 off with nothing but positivity. Or “good vibes only”, as you cool kids say. Which brings me to part 1. First time moms.
One of the most precious times in a woman’s life is during her first pregnancy. She’s learning, she’s excited, she’s preparing to bring a baby into this world and likely a little nervous wondering how the hell she’s going to do it.
So the last thing she needs is your negative energy, Margaret.
(Sorry if your name is Margaret and you’re really positive, but we all know a “Margaret” let’s be real)
Stop using your own struggles as a threat. Moms need positivity, not scare tactics. And chances are, she probably already knows what’s to come.
Below I’ll list some common phrases a mom may hear when she announces she’s pregnant vs what she should be hearing. And let’s all agree to do better. And spread more positivity. Or vibes. Or energy. Whatever suits you.
Breastfeeding is miserable, it’s hurts and takes way too much time and effort
Breastfeeding can cause some discomfort at first but should never be painful. If you’re miserable, seek some advice from an IBCLC. Time with your nursling is fleeting, when it seems like your babe may be nursing forever just put your feet up and enjoy that time. Take in all those tiny details, Mama. And bonus: Breastfeeding has almost as many benefits for you as it does baby. Did you know that breastfeeding is associated with lower risks of breast and ovarian cancers?
Well you better get ready because labor is the worst!
Labor is painful, that’s a given, but it’s also empowering and amazing. You were literally made to give birth so obviously you will rock it.
Better sleep now because you’ll never sleep again.
Get as much rest as you can because you are growing a human and your body is working overtime.
Enjoy eating a hot meal in peace while you can because you’ll be eating dinner cold in 3 minutes for the rest of forever
Make sure you’re eating protein, healthy fats, fruits and vegetables. You and baby both need it! Don’t worry about how much or when you’re eating, just listen to your body and baby.
Your body will never be the same!
Your body will never be the same, because
it will be so much better. It will be the body that made your special little person, and that’s a miracle that outshines your physical appearance any day.
Being a mom is SO hard. It’s exhausting, mentally and physically so be prepared.
Being a parent has its challenges and there will be days that require a glass of wine, heavy pour, but the best things in life require effort. There is more beauty and happiness in being a mama than you can fathom.
Speaking about motherhood in a positive tone is far more beneficial to a new mom than “preparing” her for motherhood. Ain’t no hood like motherhood, we know. We just need to hear more of what we’re gaining rather than what we’re losing.